Appendix D: How Never to Lose Again

This is the Introduction to my book, Never Lose Again, to be published soon. Please contact me or go to for more information on ordering your own copy of this valuable resource.

Blessed are the peacemakers…
Matthew 5:9

Everybody loves a winner. At least that is what popular culture would have us believe. Tiger Woods…Michael Jordan…Julia Roberts…Donald Trump…Warren Buffet…Oprah Winfrey…Bill Gates. The media loves these winners. Judging by the amount of media coverage these superstars receive, you would think that the rest of the world is made of worthless losers.

But what about the losers? Where is the media coverage for losers? We don’t want to hear about them. It’s not that we don’t sympathize with losers, it’s just that the stories about losers don’t hold our attention. (Pat Conroy makes this point in his recent autobiographical book, My Losing Season.)

Young people are indoctrinated to believe that they should strive hard to win and that they should not compromise. History books are filled with battles won, but rarely mention battles avoided. Quiet compromises that move a country forward, peacefully, are quickly forgotten.

It seems that compromise is a dirty word in America. Although it should be if you are talking about compromising your ethics, here I am talking about compromising conflicts, businesses or gambles. Most of us accept, although begrudgingly, that compromise is a key part of the political process; that legislation which passes and becomes law is the result of compromise between competing factions. But few people realize that compromise is the reality of life and is the vital oil that keeps the wheels of our civilization turning. Without compromise our government, businesses, commerce, healthcare system and educational institutions would grind to a halt. Without compromise friends would fight, spouses would divorce, families would disintegrate and even armies would fall into chaos. Why? Because compromise leads to agreement and people working together accomplish much more than people working at odds with one another.

Of course, every agreement is preceded by negotiations. If you properly prepare for those negotiations you will get most of what you want from them. The art of negotiating is explained in many books (See Appendix G); however, this book will show you not only how, but also why and when, you should negotiate compromises.

The key to never losing is to plan for a compromise that gets you what you want most, whether it is a sale, a job, a monetary settlement or just a weekend away from home. With proper planning you can develop a strategy that allows you to “give in” on issues that are not as important as your primary goal. With this strategy of negotiating over things you are willing to trade away, you can enter the negotiation process with confidence.

There is a vast number of books, articles, seminars, and videos on how to be a winner. They will tell you how to win at investment, gambling, chess, business, sports, romance and just about any other endeavor. This book is for those who are wise enough to want to avoid losing. This book is about the value of compromise; not compromise in matters of integrity, but compromise in matters of conflict or chance. You will learn how never to lose again, even if you compromise. So read on and prepare never to lose again.